Thursday, March 05, 2009

Where Is the Outrage Against Teen Dating Violence Like There Is Against Monkey's

Self-appointed Black political leaders could not wait to speak out against New York Daily News racist comic, but where is the outrage against Domestic Violence when that was in the news?

Where are those same leaders to decry the rising scourge of Dating violence in the Black community?

Political commentator Jehmu Green nails it:
Why are some African Americans so cowardly when it comes to addressing black-on-black violence? There is no end to the activists' displays of outrage when racism is perceived. Yet, the silence is deafening, drowned out only by the hypocrisy and ignorance when the perpetrator is black.

Rupert Murdoch may be public enemy number one for the progressive community, but he and his posse at the New York Post are not sanctioning the abuse and killing of black women. The beating Rihanna experienced at the hands of Chris Brown was tragic, but definitely not uncommon. The leading cause of death for African American women ages 15 to 45 is intimate partner homicide. Yes, black men are killing young black women in such high numbers it beats out accidents and every illness you can imagine. Where is the outrage? Where is the boycott? Where is the speech? I have never received a call to action email on behalf of black women affected by domestic abuse - at a rate 35% higher than our white counterparts.
In truth this blog has been silent as well.

Despite having worked in a family homeless shelter where the majority of families were seeking shelter because of domestic violence, I have been silent about this epidemic.

I have seen the effects of Domestic violence up close and still find the words hard to find.

How heart wrenchingly tough it must be to face that violence and try to do something about it? We need to give more support to the victims of violence so they can have the space and strength to make the right decision for them.

So while we must not be silent always saying it is never ok to beat another human being FOR ANY REASON, we must also not judge the decisions of the individuals stuck in these situations.

Commenting on Chris Brown and Rhianna fits into this character. It is horrible that the media is following, commenting and moralizing about Rhianna. It is for her and the proper authorities to deal with not the media.

At the same time we should be talking about the problem of Domestic violence and demand more education to burgeoning problem of Teen Dating Violence.

Something Yes Means Yes Blog nails:
1. It doesn’t mean she is stupid. Leaving an abusive partner is hard - really, really hard. Some studies have shown that it takes an average woman 4-7 tries before she can leave her abuser for good. Why? Because abusers aren’t transparent assholes all of the time. They can be very manipulative, and most of the time will wear down their partner’s self-esteem quite thoroughly long before they start with the physical violence....

2. It doesn’t mean we should forgive him. Because of all this, even if she does take him back, even if they seem happier than ever together, we shouldn’t forget. We shouldn’t shame her for her choices - when we think we can tell a woman what she should do, we’re not much better than a controlling boyfriend ourselves. But we can still call for justice to be served...

3. It doesn’t mean what he’s alleged to have done is any less horrible...

4. It doesn’t mean she has betrayed any kind of sisterhood. OK, let’s get real clear on this one. Rihanna did not sign up to be any kind of spokesmodel for dating violence. The fact that we even know it was Rihanna is due to her name, and then her photo, being leaked and exploited. Rihanna is a young woman in a really hard situation, trying to figure it out the best she can. She owes us nothing. Her decisions are hers to make, and none of us know what we would do in her shoes - even if we have been through similar things, we haven’t been through her actual life. If we start judging her or blaming her for being a bad role model, the sisterhood has failed her, not the other way around. Got it?

5. It doesn’t mean that if he hurts her again, she deserves it...
This is great post, among many on Yes Means Yes, which is a blog about the upcoming book of the same name.

I talked about another post at their blog Why Do We Praise Those Who Kill And Scorn Those Who Give Pleasure on Blackjew.net which was a very interesting post about our values as culture.

Great stuff over there, please check it out and support their upcoming great book.

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